


I Can Smile at the Old Days (I Was Beautiful Then)

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Iwaizumi Hajime is a Good Friend, M/M, Memories, Oikawa has a panic attack but it's not too graphic, Pain, Sort Of, Tags Contain Spoilers, They're In Love Your Honor, sad :((, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Just read it Oikawa."--Or, Tooru Oikawa just wants to spend a nice morning with his boyfriend.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 24





	I Can Smile at the Old Days (I Was Beautiful Then)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the title is taken from Cats bc I think it's funny

The smell of breakfast gently wafted through the air, accompanied only by Oikawa’s light humming as he worked. He quietly set the table, running back and forth from the kitchen island to the dining room table. He had hoped the smell would wake up the figure soundly sleeping upstairs, but Sugawara was nowhere to be seen. Oikawa huffed, a small pout working its way onto his face. Looks like he had to wake him up himself. 

Oikawa shuffled up the stairs, fuzzy slippers silencing any unnecessary noise. His eyes caught the picture frames hanging on the wall, depicting years of companionship. His eyes then wandered to his favorite. It was a picture of Sugawara, taken right as he was in the middle of laughing. His head was thrown back, eyes closed tightly and his hand barely covering up his laughter. Oikawa found himself tracing the crack along the glass of the picture, a fond smile on his lips. He then dropped his hand, continuing his mission to wake up his boyfriend. 

Oikawa peeked into the room, eyes landing on a lump on the bed. The stark black comforter was pulled all the way up, concealing the man beneath it. Oikawa shook his head, letting out a soft "tsk". 

"Kou-chan." He whispered, awaiting a reaction. None came. Rolling his eyes, Oikawa tried again. "Shi-chan! Wake up, I made us breakfast." No verbal response, but Oikawa saw a brief twitch. Sugawara was a heavy sleeper, so this didn't really surprise him. Whatever, it was his loss anyway. "Alright sleep in, but don't get mad when I eat everything!" 

With that, Oikawa made his way back downstairs. He walked back to the kitchen, turning on the radio and letting whatever station play softly in the background. Nodding along with the music, Oikawa grabbed the nearby teapot and filled it with water. After placing it onto the stovetop, Oikawa turned and was met with the sight of Sugawara sitting at the table, yawning and stretching his arms. He looked exhausted. Oikawa frowned, worry tugging at his heart. Hopefully, a nice breakfast would help. He set out the drinks and shuffled over to his seat at the table. 

"I made some tea for today, we ran out of your favorite, but I can pick some up when I head out later," Oikawa said as he grabbed two teacups from the cabinet. "Oh! And Iwa-chan wants to stop by later. He said he had some stuff to drop off." Behind him, Suga hummed in acknowledgment. He seemed to stifle a yawn before speaking. 

"Sounds great! I haven't seen Hajime in forever. How is he?" At that, Oikawa shrugged. 

"We haven't talked much lately. He's been busy."

"Oh." 

Oikawa waved his hand, brushing it off. "It's fine. Besides, I have you here to talk to!" Suga only smiled in response. "Alright! Let's eat."

\--

After breakfast, Oikawa made his way to the couch. Suga trailed behind him, steps silent as they reached their destination. Oikawa pulled the blanket over himself, leaving room for Suga to slip in and share it. He grabbed the remote, flicking the tv on and idly scrolling through the channels. Nothing looked particularly interesting until he stopped on a channel that showed popular American movies. His eyes lit up as he read what was playing, frantically waving his hand in Suga's direction. 

"Kou-chan look! It's your favorite!" He didn't give the other man time to respond, already slamming his finger down on the button. Oikawa quickly got lost in whatever was playing on the screen but preened when he caught the fond smile his boyfriend was wearing. Halfway through the movie, the doorbell rang. Oikawa leaped up, blanket billowing behind him. He ran to the door, throwing it open to see a surprised Iwaizumi on the other side. His best friend was holding a plain brown box, filled with what looked like books and various small trinkets. "Iwa-chan is here!" He called over his shoulder, before returning his attention back to Hajime. 

"Are you going to let me in or not Oikawa?" Iwaizumi huffed. His eyes were pinched in what looked like concern, but there was really nothing to be concerned about. Maybe the box was too heavy. Whatever the reason was, Oikawa smiled and sidestepped to let his friend in. Once inside, Iwaizumi set down the box and flexed his hands, mumbling about how heavy it was.

"So what did you bring Iwa? And make sure you say hi to Kou-chan, he missed you." There was that look again.

"Why don't we sit on the couch and look through it? That way you don't have to ask stupid questions." 

"Rude! You're so mean to me Iwa-chan." Oikawa teased. Nonetheless, he grabbed the box (which yeah,  _ was _ really heavy. what the hell  _ was  _ this stuff?) and brought it to the coffee table. Setting it down, Oikawa started pulling items out, only glancing over them. There were a few photo albums that he and Suga could go through later, as well as a few articles of clothing. Underneath that though, were two smaller items. They were strategically placed and caught Oikawa off guard. He gasped, before pulling out one of them. It was a small box, black velvet, and sitting snugly in his hand. He flicked off the top, taking on the ring inside. It was a simple silver band, though carved into the metal were the words, "Forever, darling". 

Oikawa quickly snapped the box shut, shooting a glare over to his friend. "Hajime why did you bring this? What if he sees it?" Oikawa hissed, eyes quickly darting around. Iwaizumi sighed, before pulling out the last item. 

"Just look at this." He then took the ring box, replacing it with a sheet of paper. 

"What-"

"Just read it Oikawa." 

Oikawa rolled his eyes but complied, eyes scanning the page. The longer he read, Oikawa could feel a weight crushing his chest. As his eyes took in the words before him, Oikawa’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. The bridge of his nose burned, before his eyes filled with tears. What the fuck was he looking at? Was this real? Oikawa’s hands began to shake, thoughts racing by a mile a minute. His head began to hurt and his shoulders shook. Was this some kind of sick joke? Anger pulsed under his skin and he turned to give Iwaizumi a piece of his mind. He stopped.

Iwaizumi was sitting stiffly beside him, hands clenched at his sides. His jaw was set and his eyes were staring at the floor. They also glistened with unshed tears. The fight seemed to melt out of Oikawa instantly, and he slumped. The tears he had tried to hold back were freely running down his cheeks. They were hot and salty, and suddenly Oikawa felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest was shallow, and he couldn't seem to get enough air. Harsh inhales wracked his body, his mind working into overdrive.

He could see Iwaizumi in front of him, crouched low and hands raised in mock surrender. He was talking, why couldn't Oikawa hear him? Oikawa tried to focus on what was being said to him, but all he could hear was the loud ringing in his ears. Then he noticed Iwaizumi’s eyes.  _ Follow me.  _ A deep inhale. A long exhale. Iwaizumi nodded, mimicking the action and motioning for Oikawa to do it again. Deep inhale, long exhale. This continued for a few minutes before Oikawa’s breathing evened out and the ringing died down. His head still hurt, and he was sure his eyes were red, but at least he could focus better now.

"-I touch you?" Oikawa blinked, vision clearing (when exactly had it blurred?). 

"What?" His voice sounded foreign to his ears. Was it always this scratchy? Iwaizumi simply hovered his hands in the air, repeating the question. 

"Can I touch you?" 

Oikawa slowly nodded, and soon his head was tucked under Iwaizumi’s. It was a little awkward with Oikawa’s height and the angle they were at, but they managed. Oikawa felt more tears slip, but they weren't as intense as before. Iwaizumi simply stroked his hair, saying nothing. Oikawa glanced down at the paper he had dropped, glaring at it like it was the very bane of his existence. To be fair, it was. Glaring up at him from the floor lay a piece of paper. That's really all it was. Paper. Yet it had such an impact on him. The paper had simply done what it was meant to do, and Oikawa hated it. He hated these feelings, these  _ memories  _ that were resurfacing. Memories of long walks in the park and dates to the movies. He remembered nightly drives in his sister's convertible and music blaring from the speaker. 

He remembers love. Loving someone so deeply, so  _ achingly,  _ that it hurt sometimes. He remembers hair that resembled starlight and eyes like honey. 

He remembered Sugawara Koushi; because Sugawara Koushi was dead. That was all he would ever be any more. 

A memory.

**Author's Note:**

> *Breakdances softly* You okay son?


End file.
